| Another Great Marketing Dog Article Topic: How to Hire a Personal Assistant for Free by Slash Coleman |
A lot of artists I know hate the business end of things because they feel the business side of things is a
side which is completely opposite from their creative side. The money stuff, the negotiating, the
phone calls, networking, the marketing, the business plan – most every artist I talk to says they can’t
wait until the day they “make it big” when they can hire someone to do all that business stuff for them.
On the other hand, you’ve probably read the same books I have that say concentrate on what you do
best and leave all the things you're not so good at for someone else. That’s all fine and good, but
where do you get the money to pay someone for all those things you’re not so good at? To me, that’s
like saying it’s OK to cut off your pinky because you don’t use it all that much.
Here’s a wake-up call for you. The life of any successful artist, especially when you are first starting
out, includes 75% of that business stuff and 25% of the artistic stuff. (Actually, for me, it’s more like
40% business stuff, 30% creative stuff and 30% spiritual stuff). Think I’m exaggerating? If you do, you’
re probably still waiting to “make it,” and you’re probably going to be waiting for quite a long time.
The idea that someone is going to “discover you” is a reality, but the reality is that you have to meet
them half way.
Meeting them halfway will require that you try and develop, at least a few of those business skills you
hate so much, into what could, at the very least, be considered a strong weakness. When I wrote my
first business plan, it took me forever and a day. Ten business plans later, I can write them in my
sleep. Talking on the phone used to be something I dreaded. Now I look forward to it. With practice
you can get better at anything. The most poorly developed skill in my business hand bag though,
and the one I postponed developing until a few months ago (actually until to the very last possible
minute) was negotiation.
Why? I had, like most sensitive artist types, confused negotiation with confrontation. I would have
rather walked away and let myself get screwed, then stand up for myself and my art and my career.
For the longest time, I accepted what others said I was worth instead of telling others what I thought I
was worth. That’s something to remember… that behind any issue you have with negotiation is
probably an unresolved issue with self-esteem.
All that changed though, when I met my personal assistant a few months back. He was the one who
finally helped me see that negotiation is merely a form of communication, a verbal game of sorts,
where you try to keep the ball in play for as long as you can.
Follow my lead and I guarantee you’ll have a lot of fun with it.
When I was first starting out with my show, “The Neon Man and Me,” and was, for the most part, a
“nobody” with no body of work, no press, and no real track record so to speak, I began to e-mail
venues with a desperate attitude. I had a feeling that this was the show that was going to go big, but
as Leo, I’ve been plagued with similar feelings my entire life. Actually, we, Leos, always think
whatever project we’re working on in the moment is the one that is going to change the world. It’s an
infectious attribute, but one that sometimes needs to be kept in check.
I didn’t really trust the feeling 100% and so when I approached venues with the idea of getting myself
booked, especially ones where I really, really, really wanted my show to appear, I kind of “threw the
baby out with the bath water,” as the saying goes. I was “very green” so to speak. One of those first e-
mails that went out was to the theater department of my alma mater. I basically laid myself down on
the rail road tracks and all but said, "Back the train over me." I basically said I would pretty much do
my show for little or nothing - it was my alma mater, after all.
A lot of those early venues never got back in touch with me, others only did when I began to show up
on the media’s radar.
Well, flash forward, four months ….after the debut of the show, my raising nearly $10,000 for area non-
profits, my cover story, my NPR coverage, and my deal with PBS, everyone sort of started coming out
of the woodwork. It was cool, but to tell you the truth it was confusing because those door shutters
were suddenly treating me very different.
The theater department of my alma mater, in particular, actually flung the door open for me. Would I
honor them with a show in their 70 seat black box . Why, we'll give you 50% of the door with ticket
prices set at $8. Oh and by the way, all the students and faculty will attend for free. Excuse me? Even
a math retard like me figured I might make at least $8 from some poor soul who accidentally
wandered into the theater. Oh yeah, as an added bonus, not to over-promote you or anything, but
the show will also be listed in the season program which goes out to 4,000 area residents and your
name of course will appear on the marquee….Now, you know as well as I do, that as a nobody, my
name means practically nothing on a marquee (except for my Leo ego) and out of 4,000 area
residents, how many actually go to the theater to see...well, a nobody?
Enter Agnew Hamilton….the man with big business balls. Within five minutes of receiving the above
mentioned e-mail, I hired my brand spanking new inner personal assistant on the spot to negotiate
new and improved terms for the gig. I didn’t even have to look at his resume. I knew when he walked
out of my head and into my apartment , that he was the brainchild of every telemarketing call I had
ever received, every junk mail envelope I had ever opened, and every cop who had ever given me a
ticket. Hey, if my alma mater wanted to play hardball then I was going to give them a run for their
money.
Agnew secured a new e-mail address with the name “agent” in it and emailed the theater something
to the effect that, “due to the success of the production and the volume of e-mails that I was now
receiving, Agnew had been hired on as my personal assistant to negotiate the terms of all future
venues. All contact with the artist was now limited.” Agnew laid down a minimum price per
performance and the terms included travel and board.
Bam! Whereas the theater department had dragged its feet with contacting me before, Agnew
received a response within a day. He received an interim response that stated the department was
attempting to locate a funding source that they had been previously overlooked.
Since then, Agnew’s been working off and on when I need him and I have to tell you people respond
very differently to him then they do to me. He has a certain arrogance that I don’t. Maybe it’s the way
he sits on e-mails for a few days before answering them. Maybe it’s the fact that he loves doing his
job. Maybe it’s the way he takes hardball playing over the top like he did with the theater department
gig. He pushed them a little too hard and they folded in the end. But it was for the best. They didn’t
seem to have my best interest at heart and I think he sensed it. I guess everything comes with a price,
after all.
side which is completely opposite from their creative side. The money stuff, the negotiating, the
phone calls, networking, the marketing, the business plan – most every artist I talk to says they can’t
wait until the day they “make it big” when they can hire someone to do all that business stuff for them.
On the other hand, you’ve probably read the same books I have that say concentrate on what you do
best and leave all the things you're not so good at for someone else. That’s all fine and good, but
where do you get the money to pay someone for all those things you’re not so good at? To me, that’s
like saying it’s OK to cut off your pinky because you don’t use it all that much.
Here’s a wake-up call for you. The life of any successful artist, especially when you are first starting
out, includes 75% of that business stuff and 25% of the artistic stuff. (Actually, for me, it’s more like
40% business stuff, 30% creative stuff and 30% spiritual stuff). Think I’m exaggerating? If you do, you’
re probably still waiting to “make it,” and you’re probably going to be waiting for quite a long time.
The idea that someone is going to “discover you” is a reality, but the reality is that you have to meet
them half way.
Meeting them halfway will require that you try and develop, at least a few of those business skills you
hate so much, into what could, at the very least, be considered a strong weakness. When I wrote my
first business plan, it took me forever and a day. Ten business plans later, I can write them in my
sleep. Talking on the phone used to be something I dreaded. Now I look forward to it. With practice
you can get better at anything. The most poorly developed skill in my business hand bag though,
and the one I postponed developing until a few months ago (actually until to the very last possible
minute) was negotiation.
Why? I had, like most sensitive artist types, confused negotiation with confrontation. I would have
rather walked away and let myself get screwed, then stand up for myself and my art and my career.
For the longest time, I accepted what others said I was worth instead of telling others what I thought I
was worth. That’s something to remember… that behind any issue you have with negotiation is
probably an unresolved issue with self-esteem.
All that changed though, when I met my personal assistant a few months back. He was the one who
finally helped me see that negotiation is merely a form of communication, a verbal game of sorts,
where you try to keep the ball in play for as long as you can.
Follow my lead and I guarantee you’ll have a lot of fun with it.
When I was first starting out with my show, “The Neon Man and Me,” and was, for the most part, a
“nobody” with no body of work, no press, and no real track record so to speak, I began to e-mail
venues with a desperate attitude. I had a feeling that this was the show that was going to go big, but
as Leo, I’ve been plagued with similar feelings my entire life. Actually, we, Leos, always think
whatever project we’re working on in the moment is the one that is going to change the world. It’s an
infectious attribute, but one that sometimes needs to be kept in check.
I didn’t really trust the feeling 100% and so when I approached venues with the idea of getting myself
booked, especially ones where I really, really, really wanted my show to appear, I kind of “threw the
baby out with the bath water,” as the saying goes. I was “very green” so to speak. One of those first e-
mails that went out was to the theater department of my alma mater. I basically laid myself down on
the rail road tracks and all but said, "Back the train over me." I basically said I would pretty much do
my show for little or nothing - it was my alma mater, after all.
A lot of those early venues never got back in touch with me, others only did when I began to show up
on the media’s radar.
Well, flash forward, four months ….after the debut of the show, my raising nearly $10,000 for area non-
profits, my cover story, my NPR coverage, and my deal with PBS, everyone sort of started coming out
of the woodwork. It was cool, but to tell you the truth it was confusing because those door shutters
were suddenly treating me very different.
The theater department of my alma mater, in particular, actually flung the door open for me. Would I
honor them with a show in their 70 seat black box . Why, we'll give you 50% of the door with ticket
prices set at $8. Oh and by the way, all the students and faculty will attend for free. Excuse me? Even
a math retard like me figured I might make at least $8 from some poor soul who accidentally
wandered into the theater. Oh yeah, as an added bonus, not to over-promote you or anything, but
the show will also be listed in the season program which goes out to 4,000 area residents and your
name of course will appear on the marquee….Now, you know as well as I do, that as a nobody, my
name means practically nothing on a marquee (except for my Leo ego) and out of 4,000 area
residents, how many actually go to the theater to see...well, a nobody?
Enter Agnew Hamilton….the man with big business balls. Within five minutes of receiving the above
mentioned e-mail, I hired my brand spanking new inner personal assistant on the spot to negotiate
new and improved terms for the gig. I didn’t even have to look at his resume. I knew when he walked
out of my head and into my apartment , that he was the brainchild of every telemarketing call I had
ever received, every junk mail envelope I had ever opened, and every cop who had ever given me a
ticket. Hey, if my alma mater wanted to play hardball then I was going to give them a run for their
money.
Agnew secured a new e-mail address with the name “agent” in it and emailed the theater something
to the effect that, “due to the success of the production and the volume of e-mails that I was now
receiving, Agnew had been hired on as my personal assistant to negotiate the terms of all future
venues. All contact with the artist was now limited.” Agnew laid down a minimum price per
performance and the terms included travel and board.
Bam! Whereas the theater department had dragged its feet with contacting me before, Agnew
received a response within a day. He received an interim response that stated the department was
attempting to locate a funding source that they had been previously overlooked.
Since then, Agnew’s been working off and on when I need him and I have to tell you people respond
very differently to him then they do to me. He has a certain arrogance that I don’t. Maybe it’s the way
he sits on e-mails for a few days before answering them. Maybe it’s the fact that he loves doing his
job. Maybe it’s the way he takes hardball playing over the top like he did with the theater department
gig. He pushed them a little too hard and they folded in the end. But it was for the best. They didn’t
seem to have my best interest at heart and I think he sensed it. I guess everything comes with a price,
after all.
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If you feel like you've been
spinning your wheels with your art
career, this book will give you
practical steps to make changes
that you will see instantly >more
spinning your wheels with your art
career, this book will give you
practical steps to make changes
that you will see instantly >more
| © Slash Coleman 2006 |
